Closer to Uncertainty
by The-Helical-Impulse
Summary: AU Kingdom Hearts AkuDemy fanfiction: 'Trying to remember your name afterwards and then wondering what was worth more to you, which one you would choose if it was forced upon you which it will be, undoubtedly if he found out.'
1. 01: Axel

**The-Helical-Impulse**

Disclaimer- *sigh* I see tons of great discliamers, and then I realize that hey...you pretty much already now there's no way in hell I could possibly own the Square Enix 'Empire' if I'm writing a fanfiction about some of their greatest characters where half (or more) are gay, eccentric, or dead...Okay, this looks more like a rant...I'll stop now.

Warning- Language, Yaoi, Cross-dressing

Summary- AU Kingdom Hearts AkuDemy fanfiction: 'trying to remember your name afterwards and then wondering what was worth more to you, which one you would choose if it was forced upon you (which it will be, undoubtedly) if he found out.'

x.X.x

Closer to Uncertainty

x.X.x

You will hear (and ignore) that small choked sob that he was trying to hold back as he stumbles out of the passenger seat. Hurriedly fixing his clothes and hugging those skinny black stilettos to his chest, because the strap broke when he tried to pull them off in the rush for the backseat.

You won't stop him from walking away either, as he blinks up at the dingy yellow of the streetlight in order to stop crying and convincing himself that he doesn't need to crawl back into your lap just so he doesn't fall apart again. Out of habit.

You will whisper goodnight in a cracked voice and hope that he makes it to wherever the hell he's going (wondering if it's his own bed he'll be sleeping in tonight or not. You are unsure and it doesn't make you feel good inside).

You'll pretend that it doesn't make you the least bit happy that you've been the only one he's ever cried over...or for ever since that Zexion kid. Even if it _does _break your heart- just a little -when he tries to hide that tortured look when you show up the next day at his doorstep asking for his older brother.

Who you _were _supposed to be with the night before.

He'll let you in with that painful smile that almost makes you wanna reach out and wrap- no. You'll ruffle the rigorously gelled spikes and brush past him holding your breath as he whimpers quietly to himself.

He didn't think you heard, and you won't let on that you did.

You'll go up the worn steps and down the hall a little ways to the door that's usually open- just a crack though, so 'mom' doesn't get suspicious -and find Roxas lounging on his bed with a paperback book open casually on his lap and looking up expectantly at the door (almost as if he were waiting for you) with a modicum of a smile.

x.X.x

You'll pretend that it wasn't his fifteen-year-old brother (who you called adorable- he was in the 7th grade -the first time you met him) who was trembling and breathless and wanting more, _more, more _as you were fucking him harder, _harder, please! _in the backseat of the car your parents got you for your sixteenth birthday two years ago.

Trying to remember your name afterwards and then wondering what was worth more to you, which one you would choose if it was forced upon you (which it will be, undoubtedly) if he found out.

...And the sad thing is...you don't know because Demyx would _never _make you choose and Roxas would _never _stop loving you even if you did.

x.X.x

A/N:

reviews aren't demanded but are _highly _euphoric.

another thanks to anyone who actually made it past the first sentence without wanting to go 'this should never have been posted'. and creative criticism is welcome as well.

(May be going in for reconstruction and could involve a second part or tuning into a chap-fic...tell me what you think.)


	2. 02: Demyx

**The-Helical-Impulse**

Disclaimer- *sigh* I see tons of great discliamers, and then I realize that hey...you pretty much already now there's no way in hell I could possibly own the Square Enix 'Empire' if I'm writing a fanfiction about some of their greatest characters where half (or more) are gay, eccentric, or dead...Okay, this looks more like a rant...I'll stop now.

Warning- Language, Yaoi, Cross-dressing,

Summary- AU Kingdom Hearts AkuDemy fanfiction: 'trying to remember your name afterwards and then wondering what was worth more to you, which one you would choose if it was forced upon you (which it will be, undoubtedly) if he found out.'

x.X.x

Closer to Uncertainty

x.X.x

You promised yourself you wouldn't put yourself back in the car willingly but you can't help yourself when he sits there silently in the parking lot. The passanger side door open and waiting for you. Bottle green eyes regarding you with a certain look that makes your heart jump in your throat, tightening like a choker chain.

Good God, could you get anymore helpless?

You look over your shoulder, unsure of going off campus but when you catch Riku's eye he shrugs, a small little smile on his lips as he turns back to follow behind Sora, being tugged forcefully after the excitable brunet.

You look back at the two year old car hesitantly before you grab your bag and practically trip over your feet running to the car. You slam into the passanger seat and trhwo your bag into the backseat along with the nikon bag and collection of wires, adapters, and tungsten lights. Turning around you watch him start the car, a warm puddle melting in your stomach.

"...Hey..." you start, biting you lip a little when he looks at you an eyebrow raised. "Where you planning on shooting anything today?"

"Dunno," he grins at you- absently combing rubbed-raw fingers through his carmine red hair- and reverses out of the parking spot, wheeling around to the entrance of the parking lot. "Were you planning on coming with me?"

Laughing you buckle your seatbelt and learn into his shoulder, wishing that maybe it wouldn't feel so bad if he was yours. Not your brothers. Not Roxas'.

Pathetic.

"Studio than?"

x.X.x

_Zexion blinked up at the sky in annoyance, the soft ''plink plink' of the rain hitting the sheet of aluminum nailed to the siding of the house as he watches Demyx run his finger across it, condensation clinging to the tip of his finger. Looking over at the bemused senior he grins...and then licks the rainwater off of his finger._

_"Demyx...you do know that is recycled back into the clouds from sewers and other bodies of water right...elementry fact there." he mumbled, wiping a hand across his chin as droplets trailed down his neck and into the overly-large sweatshirt that belonged to his cousin when they had stayed there this weekend. _

_"Yes. I konw." The blond grinned over his shoulder, as Zexion moved behuind him, tucking his chin against Demyx's neck. "...but it tastes yummy."_

_When Demyx trailed his finger through across the aluminum again and licked it. Again Zexion rolled his eyes "Stop ruining the expirement." Demyx, difiant to the last did it again._

_Zexion's nose wrinkled, but he kissed Demyx's neck anyway, wetting his lips with the rain._

x.X.x

A/N:

reviews feel like fucking nirvana mixed with euphoria and faerie-dust

thank you, so much for the reviews, I was a little suprised to get any at all, and I was prompted to make an update and writing in second is far more easy then I thought it would be and I'm suprised that I _really _wanting to go in-depth with this fanfiction. Does this need more?

any request for next POV?


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